Ancient modern Gods (and others...)

[lostmushi]

ANCIENT MODERN GODS

Ever felt
How the night
Makes everyone
Look the same.

Only one sense left
More meaning
Than all combined
Because it's purified.

How colors
Can influence
Our freedom.

Seeing should not be
Believing.

The truth is in between
Our never-touching bodies,
Our always-relating minds.

Forming each other as Gods,
Balance is the strength,
Beauty is the medium...

14 ~ 11 ~ '03

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DANCING DARKNESS

Dancing darkness
Full winter moon.
Scene of the heart
Singing like shadows.

White silent days
Surreal,
Who else
Would love this?

Staring at the ocean snow
Not alone
Not together
In between.

Hair of trees
Why speak?
When there is so much more to do...

2 ~ 10 ~ '03

(this one may sound corny, but that's how i felt at the time...)

---------------------------------------------

DREAMWALKING

Never should sorry
Be like me.
I am the girl
I want to love.

Too soft
To open my eyes.
The sweet embrace
I would like it to be.

Full of heart,
Needs a shoulder.
The touch
Of crossing fingers.

Like the feet
Walking together,
Naked through the grass.

Every step,
Synchronized...

19 ~ 11 ~ '03

---------------------------------------------

FEARWALL CELL

Every day
The sun will show
Beauty,
Some see too much,
Some can't reach,
Makes me feel ugly.

The downward angle
Of empty promises,
It is everything
That ever touched me.

How did deception
Turn into self-pity?

The mirror,
The only one
I ever cried for.

Changes beyond,
Always left with me.
Where is this strength?
I need it be.

The fearwall cell,
The mental prison
I created,
For me...

7 ~ 12 ~ '03

---------------------------------------------

GRASS BETWEEN GRAVES

You can't live
Something you don't trust.
The distance
Has frozen me.

Like painted tears,
Trying to melt.
Drawing the picture,
Only one can.

Lifebox,
In the room,
Warm if two,
Cold if not.

Black and white eyes,
Soft cold feelings.
Comfort in sight,
The wall never breaks.

Reading others,
Writing me.
The closed diary,
Bottled up and thrown to sea.

Sleeping in sand,
Waiting for the tide,
Between the dance
Of dying moon and sun...

9 ~ 12 ~ '03

---------------------------------------------

LIFE BEFORE TIME

I miss you,
Like the shadows
Miss the sun.

What would be wrong?
The love,
Could have been.

I'm keeping alive,
The family
We once were.

Reincarnation,
The second life
I created,
During the nights.

Drawing with words,
Maybe all I can.
You were not afraid,
The touch of a smile.

The only flower,
I never wanted to give away.
The only time,
I felt I was me,
While I was feeling you.

Under my skin,
Between my arms,
And yours...

11 ~ 12 ~ '03

---------------------------------------------

More to come, i still have to type over alot of work on my comp...

[Hannibal]

Wow, welcome Negative Sun... as I'm sure others have already welcomed you.
You do have a lot of poems, and all of them are good.

A few lines from different poems really caught my fancy..

The truth is in between
Our never-touching bodies,
Our always-relating minds

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I love that.. never-touching, always-relating...

Staring at the ocean snow
Not alone
Not together
In between.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">ocean snow, gives such a visual... I see so much in that thought.. it's more than just visual, it's a whole scene in two words
.
.
.
Dreamwalking was an interesting one, but it didn't flow as nicely as some of your other peices... .
.
.

The mirror,
The only one
I ever cried for

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">awesome.. Just awesome. I really like that... it just... I dunno, it's dry but... powerful.
*shrugs* it's good!

All of these are good.. post more!

[lostmushi]

thanks, i will post some more, but it's very busy here lately, school sucks, but i try hard not to fail cause it's my last year and i really want to get out of there...

[Hannibal]

yah, this is my last semester as well...
So I too am trying to study hard..

[sarafina mable]

sorry it took me so long to respond to these, there is some really awesome writing here!

ANCIENT MODERN GODS
"How colors
Can influence
Our freedom."
-----this idea leaves my head spinning!

DREAMWALKING
"Never should sorry
Be like me.
I am the girl
I want to love."
-----i'm not sure if i completely understand this quote but it really stood out to me.

FEARWALL CELL
"The downward angle
Of empty promises,
It is everything
That ever touched me."
------you did a good job here of transforming this 'cliche' idea with new and better words

"The mirror,
The only one
I ever cried for."
------WOW! i love this line

GRASS BETWEEN GRAVES
"Like painted tears,
Trying to melt.
Drawing the picture"
------this is my favorite image from all these pieces

LIFE BEFORE TIME

"I miss you,
Like the shadows
Miss the sun."
------i might be crazy, but this reminds me of a song lyrics, i can't remember if its radiohead or coldplay or something. either way i like the comparison

"What would be wrong?
The love,
Could have been."
------if only this idea was easy to grasp when it really is the love thats wrong!

"The only time,
I felt I was me,
While I was feeling you.

Under my skin,
Between my arms,
And yours..."
------these two stanzas are so bittersweet!


continue to post more, i like the styles here although it took a while to comment since there were so many on one post!
good job!

[lostmushi]

DREAMWALKING
"Never should sorry
Be like me.
I am the girl
I want to love."
-----i'm not sure if i completely understand this quote but it really stood out to me.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">to tell you the truth, i don't even completely understand it myself, maybe it's just beacause i was in this fase i expected a lot from love, but i didn't really get back what i thought it would be, i kinda created a perfect image of a girl that fits me perfectly...

LIFE BEFORE TIME

"I miss you,
Like the shadows
Miss the sun."
------i might be crazy, but this reminds me of a song lyrics, i can't remember if its radiohead or coldplay or something. either way i like the comparison

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Everything About The Girl sings something like this: "and i miss you, like the deserts miss the rain"